Unsolvable Problems

John Gottman found that 69% of all marital problems are unsolvable. That doesn't sit well with most of us. You may be thinking that just can be, how are we suppose to have a happy marriage when our problems are unsolvable? Goddard gives some great insights into that in his book “Drawing Heaven into your Marriage”. Among other things, he shares that charity is the answer. As he puts it “instead of inconveniences and irritants…see goodness and blessings.” (p. 114) Goddard shares to story of John Glenn and his wife Annie to explain the kind of charity he was talking about.

Glenn and Annie grew up together. She had a very bad stutter, but Glenn didn’t care. Later her stutter negatively affected his career but he never once complained, he always took Annie’s side. In my opinion a lesser husband would have blamed her or at the very least had huge fights or resentment issues, but Glenn never did. He had true charity for his wife.

Goddard encourages each of us to give 100% of ourselves to our spouse, and to do so cheerfully. Reading his book has really taught me that being married isn’t about fixing my spouse, or even just tolerating his faults. Being married is about focusing on the best of my spouse, and when I do find fault see what I personally can do to change so that it doesn’t bother me. If I am going to grow in marriage I have to allow it to make me a better person. Someone who serves without expecting anything in return, loves unconditionally, and always sees the best in those close to me. Even though the world teaches something else, only when I lose myself in service to my spouse will I find true happiness.