A Covenant Marriage

Until recently I had never thought about how my marriage affected others. Those closest to me care because they want me to be happy, and then my kids care because they want their parents together. That is about as deep as I ever got with it. Lately, I am coming to realize it is so much more. When two people get married they are making a promise, or a covenant, not only to each other (and God depending on your religious affiliation) but to the state. (1) There are numerous studies stating the improved state of two individuals with they are married, not simply cohabiting. Not only that, but it is the perfect environment for raising children who hopefully someday will be upstanding, contributing members of society. 

In my own family I have seen the difference it makes when parents keep that covenant and stay together. On my moms side my grandparents kept that covenant and had 7 children, 50 grandchildren and many many great grandchildren. Out of all of those there have only been a handful of divorces (less than 5). No substance abuse problems, no children born out of wedlock. There are many college degrees, active participants in the community, and much religious involvement.

My dads side is a different story. His parents got divorced, and of the 8 siblings he is the only one who hasn't. There are many children conceived out of wedlock and very little religious involvement (recently that has improved). There has been a lot of turmoil and pain for years in his family that is only now starting to heal. 

While there are many factors that play a part, I believe the example of my grandparents set the course. My dad changed my future and my children's future but sticking with my mom and working on their marriage. Because he and my mom kept their covenant, they have potentially prevented me and my children from suffering the hardships and heartaches that come from breaking the marital covenant.